Two Thousand Words, No Subject

            Adam Dunn’s 2011 season is not among the 1,000 worst seasons ever by a major league hitter.   Dunn did hit .159, which is (in a manner of calculation) the worst average ever, but Dunn had more walks than hits, and 41% of his hits were for extra bases.   Contrast that with Bob Lillis in 1963; Lillis hit .198, but 84% of his hits were singles, and he had six times as many hits as walks.  

            Dunn’s season, however, was the second-worst ever for a player with 10 or more homers.   The only worse season with double-digit home runs was Don Wert in 1968--.200 with 12 homers, 37 RBI in 150 games.   OPS:  .556.

            Deron Johnson in 1974 had a .542 OPS, but Johnson had more homers and RBI than Dunn did, in 100 fewer plate appearances.  Andres Thomas (1989) and Todd Cruz (1983) are also candidates for this award.   At least Dunn didn’t steal any watches.

            Also, Dunn’s season was the worst ever for a hitter with his established production level.   The closest parallel to him in that respect is Vinny Castilla in 2000.   Castilla in the four years prior to 2000 had hit .304 with 40 homers, 113 RBI (1996), .304 with 40 homers, 113 RBI again in 1997 (mimicking Dunn’s famous consistency), .319 with 46 homers, 144 RBI (1998) and .275 with 33 homers, 102 RBI (1999).   In 2000, joining Tampa Bay, he hit just .221 with 6 homers, 42 RBI in 85 games.  He was 32 years old, one year older than Dunn, and like Dunn was playing for a new team.   That’s the worst season ever for a hitter of that caliber, before Dunn and not counting Lou Gehrig in 1938.   

            Wert’s season is worse than Deron Johnson’s because it’s a negative season and he had more at bats.   At that level of production, the less you do of it, the better.   You go down as you play more.

            Brett Gardner in 2010 led the majors in strikes taken, 752, while swinging and missing only 80 times.     This year Gardner was second in the majors in strikes taken, 610, while swinging and missing 83 times.    The top five in called strikes in 2010:  Gardner, Abreu, Scutaro, Barton, Elvis Andrus.    The top five this year:  Dennis Werth, Gardner, Abreu, Fukudome, Pedroia.  

            Mark Reynolds led the majors in swings and misses (435).   Dustin Pedroia led the majors in foul balls (577). 

            Juan Pierre led the majors in both bunts (62) and bunt outs (39).  Erick Aybar was second in both areas.   Pierre was also the toughest player in the majors to strike out.

            Albert Pujols this year had 37 homers and 58 strikeouts--the best ratio of home runs to strikeouts of any major league player with ten or more homers.   It was the sixth consecutive year he has led the majors in that ratio.   The last year that he didn’t lead was 2005, when he finished second.  Vladimir beat him that year, 32/48 vs. 41/65.  

            Pujols this year failed to hit .300 for the first time in his career (he hit .299) and failed to drive in 100 runs for the first time (he drove in 99).   His Season Score, 343, was easily the lowest of his career; nonetheless, that gives him eleven consecutive seasons with a Season Score over 300.   There are fifteen players in history who have had ten consecutive 300-point seasons:  Barry Bonds (15), Stan Musial (14, considering 1944 and 1946 to be consecutive), Hank Aaron (13), Jimmie Foxx (13), Lou Gehrig (13), Willie Mays (13), Manny Ramirez (12), A-Rod (11), Honus Wagner (11), Sliding Billy Hamilton (10), Harry Heilmann (10), Al Simmons (10), Jim Thome (10), Ted Williams (10, considering 1942 and 1946 to be consecutive) and Pujols. 

            At what point does Pujols become the greatest living player?   About 1970 baseball took a poll of sportswriters to name the greatest living ballplayer.   Joe DiMaggio won the poll.   For the rest of his life DiMaggio insisted, as a condition of his making an appearance anywhere, that he be introduced as the greatest living ballplayer, excuse me, the Greatest (echo) Living (echo) Ballplayer—even if he was being introduced in front of Ted Williams, Stan Musial, Hank Aaron and God Almighty.   When he heard this in the press box Tom Boswell would always ask in mock alarm, "Oh, did Willie die?"

            Lance Berkman has a unique ability to make whatever uniform he wears look like a pair of pajamas.   I think you could put an astronaut’s suit on him, and he’d look like he was ready to climb into the sleep chamber. 

            Do you realize that if the NBA strike goes on long enough, the basketball season actually won’t start until basketball season?

            Obvious rule change. . .the NFL needs a rule that a team kicking off is required to kick off in play—that is, not in the end zone, not out of the end zone; on the field.   Kickers keep getting better so they back the kicker up every twenty or thirty years so it’s harder for him to kick the ball out of play, but the obvious solution is just to require that he not kick the ball out of play, isn’t it?   If he kicks the ball out of play, you back it up fifteen yards and kick again.  

            They also ought to get rid of the "illegal block in the back" rule if it’s behind the play on a return and not a dangerous hit.   Once the defender has run past the play and is trying to double back to get to the returner, everybody’s out of position, and the defender isn’t entitled to any special protection.   Why eliminate one of the most exciting plays in the game to defend a guy who is basically out of position and trying to recover?

            Not saying they will win the World Series, but. . .I think the Rangers are one of the best teams I’ve ever seen.   Offensively, they’ve got six Grade A weapons—Napoli, Kinsler, Beltre, Hamilton, Cruz, Young—and a very large number of guys you don’t particularly want to pitch to either, like Andrus and Murphy and Moreland.   They manufacture runs better than any other major league team.   They have the best DP combination in the majors.   Their backup catcher (Yorvit) is better than a lot of #1 catchers.   They’ve got outfielders that don’t play that are good players, like Gentry and Borbon.   Their defense is extremely good; their bullpen is phenomenal.   Their starting pitching is underrated; even their back-of-the-rotation guys are really good pitchers.  

            I admire the way they play; they hustle and play with a lot of pride.   They challenge the opposition on an inning to inning basis.   They run the bases aggressively but intelligently.  They seem to enjoy playing.   Their fan base has matured into a loud, enthusiastic, and constant chorus. 

            This organization came through a bankruptcy/front office chaos less than two years ago with no ill effects, just shook it off and got back to work.    I think all around it’s one of the most impressive teams—and one of the most impressive organizations—I’ve ever seen. 

            In re the weird story out of Zanesville. . . .you ever been to Zanesville, by the way?   It’s worth going for the churches.   I don’t know if they had a church-building war there or what, but Zanesville has the most impressive collection of old churches you’ll ever see in a town that size in America—or a town twice that size or three times that size.

            Anyway, in re the guy who killed himself and turned loose a private zoo, leading to the deaths of 18 Bengal tigers, or, as the media insists on saying, 18 "rare" Bengal tigers. . ..obviously something happened here that should never happen; I’m not arguing that point.    Obviously people who keep tigers in three-room apartments have a screw loose; not arguing that, either.   We can’t be killing tigers en masse, nor have them roaming the countryside.   We can’t risk things like that happening; we need some sort of societal safeguards against that.

            But the news coverage of this fairly horrific event, in my view, was slanted in a very unproductive direction, featuring

a) every story they could find about some snake that got out of its cage in the middle of the night and killed a baby, etc., and

b)  interviews with self-righteous people who were trying to create the impression that the housing of wild animals with American families is out of control.  

CNN reported with alarm that "there are now more Bengal tigers in private hands in America than there are living in the wild." 

If there are more Bengal tigers living in America than in the wild, that’s a bad thing?   That’s not a bad thing; it’s a good thing.   It’s a bad thing that they’re almost extinct in the wild; it’s a good thing that at least we are keeping the species going in a makeshift manner.  What would be better is if there were three times as many as there are.  What would be better is if there were also more jaguars, cheetahs, ocelots, kangaroos, Hawaiian monk seals and howler monkeys squirreled away here and there—enough to permanently protect the species.   

Look, everybody wishes that we could protect the natural habitat for these species, and we will—eventually.   Eventually, two or three hundred years down the road, we’ll succeed in having areas set aside around the globe where animals are safe.   But until we get there, the more of these animals we have in private hands, the better.   

My wife makes 99% of the rules in our house, but one rule I insisted on, when the kids were small, is that I wasn’t going to have "pets" in the house that aren’t really pets.   Fish, birds, cats, dogs. . that’s fine.   No spiders, ferrets, snakes, gerbils, hamsters; if you would kill the thing if it came into the house on it’s own, that’s not a pet.

But that’s me; that’s a rule for my house.    It seems to me that people are arguing that because I wouldn’t do it, nobody should do it.   Because I wouldn’t want to keep a crocodile, nobody should be keeping crocodiles. 

And occasionally somebody gets killed; that’s terrible, everything possible should be done to prevent that.   But 40 people are killed every year in skateboarding accidents, and we don’t ban skateboards.   God knows how many people are killed in car races, and we don’t ban car racing.   Dozens of people are killed every year in propane tank accidents; we haven’t banned propane.  

If you want to make a rule that people who keep tigers have to have some reasonable amount of space for the tiger to live, some place outside with sunshine and moving water.. .that’s fine; I can support that.   If you want to propose rules to ensure that we don’t have another Zanesville. . .sure.    Even if you want to require these people to register with the city and have the city come out and inspect the property, that’s OK.

But if you’re just concerned about the fact that these animals are in private hands and that people are interacting with them in ways that you and I wouldn’t choose to do. . .Mind Your Own Business.    The more we can do to establish a private trade in rare and exotic animals, the more rare and exotic animals will survive until the efforts to create safe zones for them reach maturity.  

            Is it just me, or is Tim McCarver having an exceptionally good series?    McCarver has succeeded in saying several things this series that I didn’t know. ..for example, the rule of thumb (he says) is that you pitch away from a hitter when you’re behind in the count and pitch inside when you’re ahead in the count.   That kind of makes sense.

            I’ve never understood pitching patterns; I’ve tried to study things related to that, but I can’t study them because I don’t understand them well enough to get any kind of handle on them.   Anything you can do to help me understand them, I appreciate.

            I’m enjoying the series; the games have been close and exciting except the one where Albert drove in 23 runs, and it’s always fun to see Tony LaRussa stumbling around trying to explain some incomprehensible series of maneuvers.   Ozzie G. and Barry Larkin are really good in the ESPN wrap ups.

            Worst major league hitter of 2011:  Reid Brignac.   .448 OPS--.227 on base percentage, .221 slugging.

            I know this is irrational, but I’m very disappointed that the illusion of 3D has finally caught on as "3D".   In theory, there is no reason why you couldn’t have television pictures—or still pictures--that are actually in three dimensions.   Nobody knows how to do it yet, but envision a clear Lucite cube with images represented with length, width and depth.  Since the 1960s, I’ve been hoping somebody would develop this before I die.    But somehow it seems less likely since this ersatz 3D or pretend 3D—some faint illusion of depth—has finally caught on.