Top ten surprise provisions in new CBA:
1) Arrows painted on the fields to remind hitters to run to first,
2) New concussion protocol requires players to recite all the words to Bob Dylan’s "Baby Blue",
3) Two tubes of Pringles in the clubhouse after every game,
4) When player is traded for the first time, team must call his grandmother and apologize,
5) Beginning in 2024, players with 5-and-10 rights no longer required to make West Coast road trips,
6) Leagues must designate "ugly" umpires; players cannot be ejected for calling them ugly if they are on the list,
7) Inspiring photos of Emily Ratajkowski in every dugout,
8) First basemen and catchers must not ingest fish oil tablets before the game,
9) Black and white image of Don Mincher to be painted on the left field wall at Target Field in Minnesota,
10) Players released while on guaranteed contract must be given a pony.